View News

Home News and Events View News

WELL SAID! (memorable moments in student writing)

April 30, 2009

From "Bad Ass Bikers" by Justin Andrews:

“These aren’t just your run of the mill bandits, these guys have style, and so do their bikes.”

Instructor Comment:

Excerpted from Justin’s cultural analysis of fixed-gear bikes, this transitional moment helps shift the paper from a discussion of the rebellion associated with the form of fixed-gear bikes to their ornamentation. Justin's use of the contraction creates both pace and lends the sentence a conversational and authentic tone. Also, the choice of the word "bandit" conveys the idea of a loveable outlaw who even rejects the conventions of being an outlaw. Macho-sexual meets metrosexual. It is rebellion with panache. On a final note, while I would recommend a dash in lieu of the first comma, the syntax of the sentence nicely echoes the shift from one aspect of the bike to a seeming contrapuntal one (from rebellion to style). The first half sums up the previous paragraph while the second introduces the new idea.